In Which Tony meets the Ex
by Miss Shallott
Summary: Tony Stark must face a terrifying task...meeting Steve's ex boyfriend!


This was me having a little fun. The idea would not leave me alone. It is meant to be funny (please let me know how badly I fail at this) and completely non-serious. Contains: Steve being naïve, Tony being paranoid and Logan being, well, Logan. Enjoy!In Which Tony meets the Ex

Tony Stark looked in the mirror. He adjusted his tie. He brushed a renegade lock of hair from his face, which he then stopped to admire. _Damn,_ he thought, _I just have to be the handsomest bastard on the face of the earth. Is handsomest a word? Well, it is now. So says Stark. The rich playboy look tops the rugged man look any day._

"Hurry up in there! I gotta go, and I mean right now!" Two loud sounds, which sounded like someone hitting their head on the bathroom door, knocked Tony out of his nervous daze. He looked back at himself in the mirror, sighing. It had been Steve's idea to come to this crappy burger joint in the middle of God-Knows-Where Canada. _This has to be love,_ Thought Tony. _I'm dealing with the worst heartburn I've ever had, from a goddamn SALAD, and we're waiting for Steve's psychopathic ex boyfriend. Well, he's waiting. I'm hiding out in a bathroom. _Tony sighed, leaning against the door. He had never done this before. One night stands usually didn't want you to meet their ex's, and given how old-fashioned Steve was, he had never EVER planned to have to sit at a too-small table with the man your lover was with before you. Who may or may not be better in bed. He reluctantly opened the door, letting some poor obese man bowl him over in his quest for the toilet. Steve was still sitting at the table, twiddling his thumbs. He waved when he saw Tony make his way over, laughing at Tony's attempt to avoid stepping on the more rotted floorboards underneath them.

"Want more food?" Tony glared at Steve, letting his head fall to the table with a thump. Steve did not notice, as he was too busy staring at the door. "He said he'd be here at 4, and we left at 3 in the private jet…"

"New York time, Cap." Tony mumbled. Steve straightened his favourite wide brim hat. How Tony hated that thing. He reached under the table for Steve's hand, but was bowled over as Steve shot up, taking the table up with him. Tony's head made a sizeable dent in the floor, and his drink made a sizeable puddle on his face. Tony got up, grumbling and wiping god -knows -what -off of his armani suit.

Standing in front of him was a shorter man with wild black hair. The cowboy hat the man wore looked like a ship in the middle of a hurricane. And his sideburns would have made Elvis proud and disgusted at the same time. He was in a beat-up leather jacket, and equally beat up jeans. Well, he couldn't say that Steve didn't warn him.

"Nice to see you Logan." Steve held out his hand to the man, no, not the man, the _creature_ and Tony watched in vague horror as the thing shook it. Then Steve turned to Tony. "This is my boyfriend Tony." Tony supposed the polite thing to do was to shake hands instead of kick nuts. He held out his hand slowly, and his other hand prepared hand sanitizer. 'Logan' looked at the hand, looked at Tony, and grunted. Tony slid his hand back into his pocket. Steve was beaming away; oblivious to everything everyone else was feeling. _If I ever doubted he was a man_….thought Tony.

"That means he likes you." Whispered Steve. Tony decided he really, _really_ didn't want to make Logan hate him. Tony looked back at Logan, who was smirking very evilly at him. Too late.

"Let's sit down and have some food." Blurted Tony. Steve nodded, still smiling like a moron. Tony began to walk towards the table, Logan and Steve following behind. When they had sat down, Logan turned to Steve.

"Nice hat, Steve." Said Logan, and Tony was sure he was using his 'sex' voice. Steve blushed and giggled like a schoolgirl. Logan turned and winked at Tony, still smirking. That was the last straw. Tony put on his best fake smile and cleverly said (or at least he thought so),

"You should see how good it looks on my bedroom floor."

The Ex Games had begun.


End file.
